No desire to Blog

So I have had no desire to blog- I still have no desire to blog because I want to blog about happy things but I continue to stress over the fact that my daughter is growing up without us. So where are we-leaving for Africa on wed aug 19th but as of right now Peyton is not coming home. We decided to continue with our trip since John has the time off and the kids are still on summer break. We were hoping to have a court date before we left but as luck would have it our new court date is Aug 19th the day we leave. I will most likely not know if we passed that day since I will be on a plane. The plan is to try and bring Peyton home but if thats not possible John will fly back to Ethiopia when its time to go get her. So im trying to think of the positive which is holding my baby baby girl !!!