Thursday, April 16, 2009
Okay days and Really bad days
So today started out as an okay day but somewhere it went bad,As I can not hold back my tears anymore. It has been about 7 weeks since we found out our baby girl passed away.Some days I still can not believe it.As the weather is getting nicer out I think about all those long walks we would have taken while the boys were at school.I finally went in her room this past week and emptied out her suitcase then I proceeded to reaarange the room for the third time. With each new referral I found it easier to reaarange the room for the newest baby.As I sat there in her room I wonder is this new baby the one we will bring home or is there more heartache on the horizon. As we try to get excited about this referral I feel guilty for our baby girl-so how do I balance it all? How do we open our hearts? How do we not worry about this baby? I can tell you I need to find a way to balance it all because its starting to affect my mommy duties,my wife duties and my household duties not to mention my diet ,sleep,etc. Maybe it was too soon to accept a referral but I also can not imagine being stuck in limbo in this process. So as I have no idea what each day brings please pray we can figure out how to balance it all
Monday, April 6, 2009
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