Friday, February 6, 2009

Gods plan???

I keep trying to tell myself God has a plan.I may not like his plan or agree with it but he has a plan. It has taken me a few days to post this.I have been feeling all sorts of emotions and was a little depressed for awhile but Im starting to feel better. Last saturday we lost our referral for Tingirt.Her mother took her from the orphanage and I will spare the rest of the details because it is too heart wrenching to post. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out.We love her so much even though we have never met her.We had plans for her,dreamt of her being a part of our family. The same day we lost Tingirt we were offered the referral of Bontu a 3 month old baby girl. Her referral was coupled with the news of Tingirt.Way too much to handle. It took me an hour to open the attachment to view Bontu and Im gonna be honest I was not excited I had no feeling and I feel so sad about that. Bontu is a beautiful litle girl but I wanted Tingirt she was my daughter. After about 5 days of uncontrollable crying I am happy to say we signed the acceptence papers for Bontu. We have decided to leave 1 picture of Tingirt up for she will forever have a place in my heart. I am very guarded this time and feel terrible but I know when Bontu is placed in my arms I will know she is ours forever. We were able to keep our march 5th court date so we are almost at the finish line. For whatever reason God wants Bontu to be with our family and I have to trust in his plan.Please pray for our family

9 comments:

meg said...

words aren't adequate...just know i'm here for you...
...and you're right. God does have a plan and even though we don't get it or like it...it's perfect...

Cindy said...

That is intense news. I m sorry you lost one daughter but so happy that you have a new referral. I am sure she will bring a lot of happiness to your family.

Theresa and Jim- said...

There are no words....I wish I had something to say other than I am sorry. I am here for you anytime. When Bontu is in your arms you will fall so in love!!

((HUGS))

Love you!! Praying everyday for your family.

Ronnie and Suzi said...

Oh Dawn, I just read this. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know we'll be praying for all of you. There is a plan...even when it doesn't make any sense to us, He's with us all the way. ((HUGS))

ShannonC said...

Praying for your and your ENTIRE family's strength and wisdom during this trial. All the best will be yours.

Sheryl said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for you. Good you were able to keep your court date...and that God had Bontu planned for your family.

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